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Thread: Translating wife speak.

      
  1. #1
    Skeeter's Avatar
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    Default Translating wife speak.

    Translating wife speak.

    The wife says: You want
    The wife means: You want

    The wife says: We need
    The wife means: I want

    The wife says: It's your decision
    The wife means: The correct decision
    should be obvious

    The wife says: Do what you want
    The wife means: You'll pay for this later

    The wife says: We need to talk
    The wife means: I need to complain

    The wife says: Sure... go ahead
    The wife means: I don't want you to

    The wife says: I'n not upset
    The wife means: Of course I'm upset
    you moron

    The wife says: You're ... so manly
    The wife means: You need a shave
    and sweat a lot

    The wife says: Be romantic, turn out
    the lights
    The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

    The wife says: This kitchen is so
    inconvenient
    The wife means: I want a new house.

    The wife says: I want new curtains.
    The wife means: Also carpeting,
    furniture, and wallpaper!

    The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
    The wife means: The other forty pairs
    are the wrong shade of white.

    The wife says: Hang the picture there
    The wife means: No, I mean hang it
    there!

    The wife says: I heard a noise
    The wife means: I noticed you were
    almost asleep.

    The wife says: Do you love me?
    The wife means: I'm going to ask for
    something expensive.

    The wife says: How much do you love
    me?
    The wife means: I did something today
    you're not going to like.

    The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
    The wife means: Kick off your shoes
    and take an hour nap.

    The wife says: Am I fat?
    The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

    The wife says: You have to learn to
    communicate.
    The wife means: Just agree with me.

    The wife says: Are you listening to me?
    The wife means: [Too late, your
    doomed.]

    The wife says: Yes
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: No
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: Maybe
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: I'm sorry
    The wife means: You'll be sorry

    The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
    The wife means: You better get used
    to it

    The wife says: All we're going to buy is
    a soap dish
    The wife means: I'm coming back with
    enough to fill this place.

    The wife says: Was that the baby?
    The wife means: Get out of bed and
    walk him

    The wife says: I'm not yelling!
    The wife means: Yes I am! I think this
    is important!

    In answer to the question "What's
    wrong?"

    The wife says: The same old thing.
    The wife means: Nothing.

    The wife says: Nothing.
    The wife means: Everything.

    The wife says: Nothing, really.
    The wife means: It's just that you're an
    idiot.

    The wife says: I don't want to talk about
    it.
    The wife means: I'm still building up
    steam



  2. #2
    Beezy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating wife speak.

    Pretty accurate and I am not a fan of head games so I always give the wrong answer on purpose. Trying to minimize the stupid questions

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Translating wife speak.

    Quote Originally Posted by WYsteel View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Translating wife speak.

    The wife says: You want
    The wife means: You want

    The wife says: We need
    The wife means: I want

    The wife says: It's your decision
    The wife means: The correct decision
    should be obvious

    The wife says: Do what you want
    The wife means: You'll pay for this later

    The wife says: We need to talk
    The wife means: I need to complain

    The wife says: Sure... go ahead
    The wife means: I don't want you to

    The wife says: I'n not upset
    The wife means: Of course I'm upset
    you moron

    The wife says: You're ... so manly
    The wife means: You need a shave
    and sweat a lot

    The wife says: Be romantic, turn out
    the lights
    The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

    The wife says: This kitchen is so
    inconvenient
    The wife means: I want a new house.

    The wife says: I want new curtains.
    The wife means: Also carpeting,
    furniture, and wallpaper!

    The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
    The wife means: The other forty pairs
    are the wrong shade of white.

    The wife says: Hang the picture there
    The wife means: No, I mean hang it
    there!

    The wife says: I heard a noise
    The wife means: I noticed you were
    almost asleep.

    The wife says: Do you love me?
    The wife means: I'm going to ask for
    something expensive.

    The wife says: How much do you love
    me?
    The wife means: I did something today
    you're not going to like.

    The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
    The wife means: Kick off your shoes
    and take an hour nap.

    The wife says: Am I fat?
    The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

    The wife says: You have to learn to
    communicate.
    The wife means: Just agree with me.

    The wife says: Are you listening to me?
    The wife means: [Too late, your
    doomed.]

    The wife says: Yes
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: No
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: Maybe
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: I'm sorry
    The wife means: You'll be sorry

    The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
    The wife means: You better get used
    to it

    The wife says: All we're going to buy is
    a soap dish
    The wife means: I'm coming back with
    enough to fill this place.

    The wife says: Was that the baby?
    The wife means: Get out of bed and
    walk him

    The wife says: I'm not yelling!
    The wife means: Yes I am! I think this
    is important!

    In answer to the question "What's
    wrong?"

    The wife says: The same old thing.
    The wife means: Nothing.

    The wife says: Nothing.
    The wife means: Everything.

    The wife says: Nothing, really.
    The wife means: It's just that you're an
    idiot.

    The wife says: I don't want to talk about
    it.
    The wife means: I'm still building up
    steam


    I'm leaving this on the counter for my wife to read.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Translating wife speak.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beezy View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Pretty accurate and I am not a fan of head games so I always give the wrong answer on purpose. Trying to minimize the stupid questions
    This is a highly effective training method. Cesar Milan would be proud.

  5. #5
    BlackNGoldRules's Avatar
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    Default Re: Translating wife speak.

    Quote Originally Posted by CROSSBONES View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    I'm leaving this on the counter for my wife to read.
    Hope the sex was good while it lasted!

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