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Thread: A sample of my life's happenings

      
  1. #1
    ShayP's Avatar
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    Default A sample of my life's happenings

    YES.....MOST OF YOU HERE HAVE READ THIS BEFORE. HOWEVER!
    IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THIS STORY BE TOLD FOR ALL TIME.

    SIT BACK AND ENJOY A TRUE STORY.......

    About 15 years ago (give or take), me and a few buddys went to the Pirates game at Three Rivers Stadium. They lost .....but that's nothing new and doesn't matter. Anyway, after the game, we agree to meet at Dennys on McKnight Rd. just north of the city. Believe it or not, there were a decent amount of people at the game and I knew getting out of the parking lot and onto I-279 would be a pain in the *** and could take a while. We were drinking beer all day before the game and right through it. I had to ****. But I was eager to get the hell outta there and get to Dennys where I would relieve myself and then enjoy some pancakes, omelettes, and hash browns. Lots of hashbrowns. Then go somewhere else and drink more beer. At any rate, I decide to "hold it." Needless to say, the parking lot at 3RS is packed. People can't drive. It took 45 minutes just to get out of the parking lot. By this time, I have to **** bad. Real bad. So bad that my teeth are chattering. I edge the car up further, a little at a time, just waiting for an escape to the highway. All the why, I'm reaching under the seats and on the back seat fumbling around and thinking to myself "I gotta have an empty bottle here somewhere in all the trash." No. No bottle. I'm like "****...what do I do?" Let's just say that I seriously considered just ****ing on the floor and cleaning it up later. I couldn't bring myself to do that. OK....the traffic moves. I'm out of the parking lot and through the first stop light. Two more streets and I'm home free. It's going to take too long though....I gotta ****!!! I find a plastic KMart bag. I'm thinking that if this thing doesn't have a hole in it, it just may hold my ****. I procede to blow the bag up and see if any air leaks out. If it doesn't then my thinking is that it will hold my ****. I'm at the final red light. By this time I'm grasping the bag around my dick and ****ing in it. The light turns green. I get on I-279. I can't drive fast yet because I'm holding a bag of ****. I let cars pass me and then proceed to accelerate. I roll down the window with my left hand while holding the steering wheel and the bag of **** with my right. I get the window down. Exchange the bag of **** from right hand to left. I look for other cars and prepare to drop the bag out the window. I, however, did not consider that a flimsy KMart bag.....EVEN THOUGH IT IS HOLDING ABOUT 2 QUARTS OF URINE.....could rip open when it hit the wind. No I didn't consider THAT at all. As soon as I went to stick my arm out the window the bag burst and all of the **** flew back in the car, all over my arm, chest, and face. I never made it to Dennys. I should've just ****ed on the floor.

    True story. I wish it weren't, but, I am beyond embarrassment at this point.

  2. #2
    Les's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    That story NEVER gets old,Shay.

  3. #3
    Palmetto Steel's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!...... Great story!
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

  4. #4
    CROSSBONES's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    ........................SHEESH!

  5. #5
    Sweetchuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    I ****ed on an electric fence once.

    Seriously, I was hunting around some farms and was in an area where their electric fence was overgrown with briers and stuff, went to take a **** and "bzzzzztp".

    Nothing clenches your *** cheeks tighter than voltage traveling up through your cock.

  6. #6
    Sweetchuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    Yeah, Shay - doing anything out of a moving window is usually cause for disaster. Puking, ****ing, spitting - it all comes back at you.

  7. #7
    Viz-id/Vigilancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetchuck View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Yeah, Shay - doing anything out of a moving window is usually cause for disaster. Puking, ****ing, spitting - it all comes back at you.
    **** is good for your complection, betcha ain't got zits
    ____Here's your educational lesson for the day!!!!!
    P.S.
    This is meant as humor .... doesn't matter how sic or disgusting

    Only the substance urea can be poisonous when present in very large amounts in the blood. However, this is irrelevant in the practice of drinking urine, as urine is not immediately put back in the bloodstream. In the small amounts urea gets back into the body, it is purifying, clears up excess mucus and has a number of specific, very useful effects. Moreover, it has a ***wonderful healing and tonifying effect when applied to the skin.*****

    *****You can find urea in many skin products as one of the main components- specifically in many woman cosmetics.*****

    Furthermore, urine is entirely sterile after secretion and has an antiseptic effect. We are talking here about urine from the point of view of somebody who follows a reasonably healthy diet, and who does not use chemical drugs or allopathic medicines. Urine therapy is a method based upon the principle of 'natural cycles'.

    As long as we do not interfere chemically with the body's natural cycle, the body produces urine which is perfectly suitable for re-cycling. If you ingest a great deal of chemical substances - and these days all kinds of processed food contain chemicals - part of this will end up in the urine, in which case the composition of the urine changes. Normally, however, urine is a healthy substance which contains healthy, harmless and nourishing components.

    Some natural cycles take place more quickly than others, but the cycle in general is the foundation of all life. If we let nature run her course, there will be no waste, and a disturbed equilibrium will always come back into balance. Just as we are capable of disturbing a natural equilibrium, we can also do our part in helping nature recover her balance. In order to support such a recovering of balance, we are equipped with a wonderful, natural 'house pharmacy': our own urine provides us with a swift and safe method for using the powers of the natural cycle.

  8. #8
    Kipper's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    That story is awesome, Shay. That and the couch story. You post that one yet?

  9. #9
    Les's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    Quote Originally Posted by Viz-id/Vigilancer View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    **** is good for your complection, betcha ain't got zits
    ____Here's your educational lesson for the day!!!!!
    P.S.
    This is meant as humor .... doesn't matter how sic or disgusting
    That is just................disturbing.

  10. #10
    Viz-id/Vigilancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: A sample of my life's happenings

    Quote Originally Posted by Les View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    That is just................disturbing.
    Lately the rain has been torrential downpours on poor ole Shay
    ____ BUT he's come through with flying colors.

    Into each life some rain must fall, some days be dark and dreary.
    - Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth

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