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Thread: Rules

      
  1. #1
    Shannon's Avatar
    Status : Shannon is offline
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    Default Rules

    Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

    1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.
    2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
    3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
    4. Helpless is not cute.
    5. Get to the point.
    6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
    Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
    7. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
    8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?
    9. Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
    10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
    11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
    12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
    13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
    14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.
    15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
    16. We need to vegetate.
    17. We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
    18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
    19. We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
    20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
    21. It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.
    22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
    23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    24. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
    25. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
    26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
    27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
    28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    30. You have enough clothes.
    31. You have too many shoes.
    32. Crying is blackmail.
    33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
    34. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
    35. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
    36. We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?
    38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    41. Check your oil.
    42. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
    43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
    44. It doesn't matter which quiz.
    45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
    46. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
    47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    50. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
    51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
    52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
    53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
    54. Ditto melon.
    55. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.
    "He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there." Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).

  2. #2
    Sweetchuck's Avatar
    Status : Sweetchuck is offline
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    Join Date : Oct 11, 2009
    Location : You need a ****ing canoe to get to it.
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    Default Re: Rules

    Quote Originally Posted by Shannon View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

    1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.
    2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
    3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
    4. Helpless is not cute.
    [HIGH-LIGHT]5. Get to the point.[/HIGH-LIGHT]
    6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
    Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
    7. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
    8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?
    9. Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
    10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
    11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
    12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
    13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
    14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.
    15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
    16. We need to vegetate.
    17. We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
    18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
    19. We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
    20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
    21. It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.
    22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
    23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    24. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
    25. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
    26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
    27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
    28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    30. You have enough clothes.
    31. You have too many shoes.
    32. Crying is blackmail.
    33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
    34. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
    35. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
    36. We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?
    38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    41. Check your oil.
    42. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
    43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
    44. It doesn't matter which quiz.
    45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
    46. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
    47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    50. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
    51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
    52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
    53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
    54. Ditto melon.
    55. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.
    This is my biggest rule, I'm way impatient.

  3. #3
    Viz-id/Vigilancer's Avatar
    Status : Viz-id/Vigilancer is offline
    Rank : 3rd Stringer
    Join Date : Oct 11, 2009
    Posts : 824
    Threads : 30
    Last Online : Oct-25-2010 @ 04:17 PM

    Default Re: Rules

    - Gotta give Shannon and the other girls(women) Equal Time Here____
    Rules Girls Wish Guys Knew


    1. Yes, size matters

    2. If you expect us to wait until the commercial you better be listening

    3. We really don’t care what you are thinking, just tell us you were thinking about how much you love us and how beautiful we are. Otherwise, we don't really care what you think.

    4. Just because you can pee standing up doesn’t mean you have to

    5. Sports are not life or death, no matter how much you love them

    6. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is NOT fine. Really.

    6. If we constantly have a headache, it’s not because we are frigid. You aren’t doing it right.

    7. It wouldn’t kill you to watch something on video other than “Girls Gone Wild.”

    8. Shopping is necessary for more than buying new underwear.

    9. If you learned to use a washer & dryer, you wouldn’t need so much new underwear

    10. Monster truck rallies and wrestling are NOT sports.

    11. Your mothers are just as bad as ours and no, she’s not always right.

    12. If being well groomed is “gay,” then gay is sexy – learn to take a hint.

    13. Cavemen have been gone for thousands of years, that excuse is getting old

    14. If you can’t do something, let us call an expert ,before you cost us more money

    15. If you want your crap out of the basement, buy better stuff.

    16. If you are below average, don’t ask if size matters.

    17. If you can’t bother with foreplay, we won’t bother with oral sex

    18. The guys at the corner bar are not your real friends

    19. If we aren’t "worth the hassle," then neither are blow jobs.

    20. We love oral sex more than anything, too - we don't worship your willy.

    21. Yes, we are actually capable of doing your job better than you even though
    we are women

    22. Our sex life is not Penthouse Forum and should not be discussed with your buddies

    23. And yes, we can talk about our sex life to our girlfriends. That's different.

    24. Pizza and beer are not food groups.

    25. Your car is not alive and will not miss you and does not need to be called “Betty.”

    26. We know you don’t read it for the articles. Give it up.

    27. “Rudy” “Field of Dreams” “The Shawshank Redemption” “First Blood”, any National Lampoon movie or any other guy flick are not better than “chick flicks”

    28. Calling it a “chick flick” will not get you out of watching it. It only gets you no sex later on.

    29. If you won’t dress like Calvin Klien models, don’t expect us to dress in Victoria’s Secret.

    30. Pick up lines don’t work.

    31. We will have sex on the first date. Just not with you.

    32. Talking about girl-on-girl fantasies is not a good idea.

    33. Toilet paper has a purpose. Skid marks are gross.

    34. Porn is not a "How to" manual.

    35. Comb-overs don't fool us.

    36. Beer bellies are not a badge of honor.

    37. We know how to mow the lawn. We can fix a flat. We are perfectly able to do most household repairs. We just choose not to, so you can feel macho.

    38. You can remember the exact date and time when your favorite ball player made each big play and all of your favorite teams' stats since 1969 and you expect us to believe you can't remember a birthday and anniversary that comes once a year?

    39. If you paid more attention to what we say, you'd stay out of trouble. Did you even notice that there were two #6 in this list??

    That's all I could think of....

  4. #4
    Shannon's Avatar
    Status : Shannon is offline
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    Join Date : Oct 12, 2009
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    Last Online : Aug-08-2012 @ 12:37 AM
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    Default Re: Rules

    I'll have to disagree with #5. My fiance's friends get ****ed when I ask him if we can go to Hooter's and watch the game. Their wives and g/f's are such "girls" if you will
    "He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there." Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).

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