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Thread: Cinderella Riots In Montreal

      
  1. #1
    Palmetto Steel's Avatar
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    Default Cinderella Riots In Montreal

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    MONTREAL - After the Montreal Canadiens beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in a dramatic Game 7, journalists everywhere were alerted to the riots in the streets of Montreal caused by Prince Charming's wife, Cinderella herself. Cinderella, a once down-on-her-luck simpleton, was transformed into a pretty princess and Habs fan not long ago. Authorities have placed her under arrest and she will be held without bail until she stops chanting "Crosby sucks." The arrest happened late last night after the Habs beat the Pens. Cinderella was starting fires with a magic, looting stores with talking mice and throwing molotv cocktails into Club Super Sex, a popular strip club, yelling "waddle, waddle, *****es!" When asked if she hated the Habs, she slammed a stolen 40-ounce Labatt Blue Light on the ground and led the crowd in chanting, "We want the Cup! We want the Cup!" "It took 8 canisters of tear gas to bring her down," said Le Chief of Police. "The way she was going on, I didn't know she was a Habs fan. Her behavior indicated that she was more of a Matt Cooke (ed:Penguins' brute) fan. I think she saw the parallels between her story and this year's 2010 Montreal Canadiens and just took it too far. She did the same thing at her wedding. But as for Montreal, now I'm afraid of what might happen if we don't win the Cup.

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    Last edited by Palmetto Steel; May-16-2010 at 09:17 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Cinderella Riots In Montreal



    PITTSBURGH — The streets of Montreal were ablaze Wednesday night with sheer pandemonium after the Canadiens 5-2 Game 7 victory over the defending Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins. Over 21,000 fans rioted in the streets as police attempted to stop the crowd. Stores were broken into, and fires raged. Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh, the streets were empty, except for one man: Penguins wing Matt Cooke. Cooke, known for his dirty play and violent actions, took to the streets of Pittsburgh, setting off car alarms, body-checking trash cans into storefront windows, and lighting fires. Multiple security cameras caught Cooke in action. Liquor store owner Jerry Hanson had over $10,000 of damage done to his store by the Penguins wing. “He just came through here and demolished everything,” said Hanson. “He broke the glass in the front window with his head, shouted slurs, knocked over a couple aisles of wine then grabbed himself a bottle vodka, smiled a big, toothless grin and stormed towards the exit, shattering a Zippo lighter display on his way out.” Teammates were not shocked at the news. “Matt does that even after a win,” said team captain Sidney Crosby. “You should see his hotel room after each game. It’s like a Tasmanian Devil was in there fighting with a mongoose all night.”

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  3. #3
    PSmitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cinderella Riots In Montreal

    Riots tend to be a bit of a tradition in Montreal. I swear that the Devil lives there. Great place to visit though and I recommend it to anyone. Riots are pretty common in Montreal, that and biker wars that involve car bombs and blowing up restaurants and ****. It is like grand theft auto gone wild.



    Last edited by PSmitty; May-16-2010 at 09:42 PM.

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    Default Re: Cinderella Riots In Montreal

    Who knew Montreal and Morgantown had so much in common?

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