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Thread: * Adult Truths *

      
  1. #1
    Palmetto Steel's Avatar
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    Default * Adult Truths *

    *** Adult Truths ***

    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

    24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first Hockey helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

  2. #2
    exNCite's Avatar
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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    Man you're on a roll today.

    POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    Great truths indeed!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    # 19 happened to me last weekend. We went down to a local watering hole. As we were sitting at the bar, the guy next to us tried starting a conversation. We had a difficult time (as did the bartender) understanding what he was saying because within the same sentence he was speaking both Spanish and English. It might have been easier if he wasn't slurring every word.

    We just followed his ques and grinned and smiled when he did.

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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    I suspect this is what the future holds, as retired actually means tired again?

  6. #6
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    Default

    I don't strongly disagree with any of these.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    Quote Originally Posted by GeoPittsburghFan View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    # 19 happened to me last weekend. We went down to a local watering hole. As we were sitting at the bar, the guy next to us tried starting a conversation. We had a difficult time (as did the bartender) understanding what he was saying because within the same sentence he was speaking both Spanish and English. It might have been easier if he wasn't slurring every word.

    We just followed his ques and grinned and smiled when he did.
    He was speaking Spanglish. Anglos in Arizona are expert at it.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    I don't 23.

    I very do 22 and used to do 21.

    Agree very much with 12 and 15.

    1 through 10 are excellent and the rest are good or at least humorous.


    Two for when you get older.
    1. never trust a fart.
    2. stand closer, it's shorter than you think.
    3. shake it more times than you think is needed, there is still a drop or two in there..............

    ok............3

    When I was younger, it was, shake it more than 30 or 40 times and you're playing with it.
    Last edited by CROSSBONES; Nov-06-2010 at 08:03 PM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: * Adult Truths *

    #18 is top notch. I always snack when I am bored.

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