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Thread: Questions That Haunt Me!

      
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    Default Questions That Haunt Me!

    QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

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    .
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    Can you cry under water?

    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    What disease did cured ham actually have? and can it have a relapse on my plate?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

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    Default Re: Questions That Haunt Me!

    If a woman is perfect at multi-tasking, why can't she have a headache and sex at the same time?

    POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

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    Default Re: Questions That Haunt Me!

    Here some questions that haunt me!


    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

    If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

    How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

    What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

    Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

    If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

    Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?

    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

    Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses?

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    Is there another word for synonym?

    Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?”

    If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

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    Default Re: Questions That Haunt Me!

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackNGoldRules View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Here some questions that haunt me!


    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

    If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

    How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

    What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

    Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

    If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

    Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?

    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

    Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses?

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    Is there another word for synonym?

    Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?”

    If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
    Bravo!.........
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

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    exNCite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Questions That Haunt Me!

    1. Can you cry under water?
    2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
    3. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
    4. Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
    5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
    6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
    7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
    8. What disease did cured ham actually have?
    9. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    10. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
    11. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    12. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
    13. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
    14. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    15. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America???
    16. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
    17. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
    18. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
    19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
    20. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
    21. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    22. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
    23. When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
    24. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
    25. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
    26. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
    27. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
    28. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
    29. What do you call male ballerinas?
    30. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
    31. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
    32. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
    33. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    34. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
    35. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    36. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? (gotcha!!)
    37. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
    38. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
    39. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

    40. COWS… Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked ! her calves to their stalls. But they are unable tolocate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

    50. CONSTITUTION… They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

    51. TEN COMMANDMENTS… The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

    52. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart . "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard,and haul her *** off to jail.

    53. Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
    54. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
    55. What do people in China call their good plates?
    56. What do you call a male ladybug?
    57. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    58. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    59. What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
    60. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
    61. Wal-Mart is slashing prices daily. If you wait long enough, wouldn’t everything eventually be free?
    62. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

    POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

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    Default Re: Questions That Haunt Me!

    1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

    2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

    3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

    4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

    5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

    6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

    7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

    8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

    9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

    10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

    12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

    13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

    14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

    15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

    16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED

    17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

    18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIG HT TO REMAIN SILENT?

    19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

    20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

    21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

    22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE

    23. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

    24. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

    25. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

    26. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

    27. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

    28. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

    29. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

    30. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

    31. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

    POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

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    Default Re: Questions That Haunt Me!

    1. Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
    2. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
    3. What do people in China call their good plates?
    4. What do you call a male ladybug?
    5. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    6. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    7. What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
    8. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
    9. Wal-Mart is slashing prices daily. If you wait long enough, wouldn’t everything eventually be free?

    10. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
    11. When dog food has a new and improved taste, who tests it?
    12. What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
    13. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    14. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    15. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
    16. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
    17. If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
    18. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
    19. Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
    20. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of airplanes instead of parachutes?
    21. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
    22. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
    23. Is it ok to use an AM radio in the afternoon?
    24. If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
    25. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    26. What do chickens think we taste like?
    27. If you are driving the speed of light and you turn your lights on, what happens?
    28. Why is it when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

    29. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
    30. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a driveup ATM?
    31. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


    I’ll get back to you on these…………………………..


    Whew!!!!

    POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

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