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Thread: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

      
  1. #1
    Stone's Avatar
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    Default A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    I hope the mods will see fit to leave this even though it is not "directly" about the Steelers. I just thought a little levity might help as we are all dwelling on the hate that is coming our way just because the Steelers are winners!



    The Afghan Quarterback

    The coach had put together the perfect team for the Cleveland Browns. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

    Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

    KABOOM!

    He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

    KA-BLOOEY!

    Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

    BULLS-EYE!

    "I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

    So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Browns go on to win the Super Bowl.

    The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

    "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

    "I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are not my son!"

    "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

    "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,


    "I will never forgive you for making us move to Cleveland !!”

  2. #2
    Palmetto Steel's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    LoL... Yea, this was posted in the NFL room... I liked it then, and like it now... I personally won't move it.... Levity is the breath of life...
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

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    Stone's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Ahh well ****....If it's already here, go ahead and move/delete it

  4. #4
    Palmetto Steel's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Quote Originally Posted by Stone View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Ahh well ****....If it's already here, go ahead and move/delete it
    Why?... I haven't cared about any **** for the last few weeks so why start now... Let's turn this into a "joke thread" about the fudge-packers.... Twist any joke into a Packer joke...

    ... "What's the difference between the Packers and a dollar bill?... You'll get four quarters out of a dollar."
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Good stuff. Personally Id swap Cleveland out for Baltimore. The crime rate there makes Cleveland look like Palm Beach.

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Aaron Rogers Other Wife?
    Aaron Rogers walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says..."Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have headaches."

    His wife is lying in bed and replies..."I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

    Aaron says..."I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Packer Fans in the Hunt
    Two Green Bay Packer fans are hunting out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

    He gasps:

    "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says:

    "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

    There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says:

    "OK, now what?"

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Packer Fart Football in Bed
    On the eve of a Sunday kickoff, this old Green Bay Packer fan couple went to bed at the Super 8 on Oneida street- just a mile or so away from Lambeau. The old guy farted and yelled out "7".

    The old lady said what was that. He said he got a touchdown. I'm playing Fart Football. The old lady farted and yelled 7-7. The old man farted again 14-7. The old lady farted again tied 14-14.

    The old lady sqeeked a little fart 17-14. The old man said what was that? She replied,

    "I just kicked a field goal".

    The old man layed there trying to push out another fart. He pushed so hard he **** the bed. The old lady said what was that? The old man replied it's 1/2 time and time to switch sides.

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    bleedBnG58's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    The Cockiest Packer
    God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

    Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?" Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields." God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

    Finally, God turns to Brett Favre: "And you, Brett, what do you believe?" Brett replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    Packers Mother in Law Visits Viking Son in Law

    A newlywed Minnesota Viking fan/farmer and his newlywed wife (a Packer Fan) were visited by her mother, a long time Packer backer from Wisconsin. The Mother in law hated the Vikings fan who married her daughter. Upon arrival, she immediately demanded an inspection/tour of the entire farm setting.

    The Viking farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept taunting him about the 34-0 blowout in 2007, and all the Vikings failures, while bragging about 12 World Championships and great Coaches from Lambeau to McCarthy. At every opportunity, she would nag and demand changes, offer unwanted advice, and rip the man for being a Vikings fan.

    While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule "Adrian" suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.

    At the funeral service a few days later, the Viking farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.

    Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

    The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GREEN Bay FUDGE PECKER FAN WHEN...


    1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
    than your spouse.

    2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
    dinner table in front of her kids.

    3. You've been married three times and still have the
    same in-laws.

    4. You think a woman who is "out of your league"
    bowls on a different night.

    5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired
    people."

    6. You wonder how service stations keep their
    restrooms so clean.

    7. Anyone in your family ever died right after
    saying, "Hey watch this."


    8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

    9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
    fan.

    10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

    11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled
    Banner are, "Cheeseheads start your engines."

    12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
    exploded right off its wheels.

    14. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and
    down, depending on how much gas is in it.

    15. You have to go outside to get something from the
    fridge.

    16. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

    17. You need one more hole punched in your card to
    get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

    18. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
    there's a law against it.

    19. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your
    wife drunk.

    20. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

    21. Your front porch collapses and kills more than
    five dogs.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    OK, these are probably old and not near as good as BleedBnG58s post but:

    Q: What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the
    Super Bowl?
    A: The Baltimore Ravens

    Q: How do you keep a Baltimore Raven out of your yard?
    A: Put up goal posts.

    Q: Where do you go in Baltimore in case of a tornado?
    A: M&T Stadium - they never have a touchdown there

    Q: What do you call a Baltimore Raven with a Super Bowl ring?
    A: An old thief.

    Q: Why doesn't Annapolis have a professional football team?
    A: Because then Baltimore would want one.

    Q: What's the difference between the Baltimore Ravens & a dollar bill?
    A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

    Q: What do the Baltimore Ravens and possums have in common?
    A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

    Q: How many Baltimore Ravens does it take to win a Super Bowl?
    A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

    Q: What do the Baltimore Ravens and Billy Graham have in common?
    A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!"

    Q: Jamal Lewis and Ray Lewis are in a car, who is driving?
    A: A cop.
    "When you start talking about attitude and focus, Jack is the epitome. He was the most focused individual I've ever had."-- Chuck Noll

  13. #13
    Palmetto Steel's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    JFC, bleed.... You've made me laugh where I haven't in several weeks.... Thank you!
    "You only have one life, and you will not get out alive. Make the most of your time and have no regrets." - Me.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    I just got through watching American Idol. One of the contestants was a young girl from Green Bay. They showed her doing Packer cheers before she got to tryout. She was trying to get the other people to do a wave and just a lot of Packer this and that from her.
    She bombed as a singer and before she left she said, " well, I'll just enjoy my Packers and we're going to win the Super Bowl. "

    Randy Jackson said, " I don't see that happening either. "


    ILMAO when he said that.

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    Default Re: A little joke to help us deal with the hate that comes to winners!

    What's the difference between Cinderella and Houshmanzadeh?

    Cinderella got to the ball.
    'I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ***-kickers, ****-kickers and Methodists.'

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